Bring That Creativity Back

I love crafts. I love being creative. I love making lists. I love writing inspirational quotes on everything. I love taking time for myself once in a while.

Well. Tonight I decided to take some time for myself, get crafty and creative, make some lists, write an inspirational quote and take some time for myself. AND it turns out it all was geared towards a common goal. I want to start an Etsy shop. I started getting a bit crafty tonight as I revamped my new (purchased on sale) notebook and began to think up what I should use it for.20140323-232101.jpg

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Lately my life has been revolving around school. My dream is to become a Speech Language Pathologist, and I intend to apply to the graduate program next year. That being said, this amazing opportunity is also one that is amazingly competitive. I have been working my tail feather off night and day to be the best of the best. I even have a 104.5 in my speech anatomy class… How does that even happen?

I’ll tell you how. It happened because I have been so crazy focused on this passion and goal. By no means am I saying that this is a bad thing. I will say however, that it seems I have allowed my creativity and time to myself slip through the cracks. I need that time to myself to relax and just let my creative juices flow. There is only so much creativity that can be put forth into list making.

I of course am a very busy girl, and am by no means looking to overwhelm myself, as I am working quite possibly harder than I ever have during a semester in school, studying for the GRE, and working a job on top of all of that. I am, however, looking to find something to help keep me human and sane. Something to look forward to, but that I may also do at my own pace.

I am incredibly excited about this, and have decided that part of this new journal shall be dedicated to my brainstorming of ideas. I cannot wait!

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While I’m at it, I intend to write more. A lot more. Of what I am actually thinking. It is such a relief to get all of these crazy thoughts I have out on written paper (or computer in this instance). Whether it’s a blog post or private post, I intend to be a lot more open with myself with what I am thinking and feeling, and I see no better way to do that than to write. And boy am I excited. ❤

I also intend to start up my photography hobby again real soon. I have the resources and now it’s time to get back out there. I have been feeling so inspired lately! I probably won’t really delve into it until after my GRE is out of the way, but for now I can brainstorm and put post it’s on all of my favorite pages in my photography books. It keeps those creative juices flowing. And you know what? I have made a decision.

This year I will be creative, strong, passionate, and fierce. Look out world, here I come!

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Day 365: 365 days!! I made it!!!

Today is 365 posts on my blog!! I will admit this past semester burnt me out quite a bit and I started to literally not have much time to write anything of substance before falling asleep. That’s okay though because I did it!!! 365 days of posts and 365 days of honesty and openness about my heart and thoughts on this blog. I am really thankful I took the time to write out how I actually felt and especially with this past tough year. Things got hard but I never gave up. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it a few times… I am just so lucky to have had wonderful friends, family, and my love around me. The hard times are when you need them most, and I am so thankful I did. I think it’s the difficult times where you find out who your friends really are and who will still love you and be there for you even if you are going through such a battle.

At the beginning of last year I stated on this blog that I wanted to work on a few thing. I had goals. These goals were:
“I would like to spend the year…

improving myself- mentally and physically.

opening my mind.

not only making lists, but actually complete the tasks on them.

finding a new job, so that I can start saving.

keeping myself better updated with current events.

finding something to be passionate about.

facebooking less… exponentially less.

getting involved with a program that helps to make a difference such as It Gets Better, a suicide prevention hotline, or possibly a LGBT community program…

learning and practicing more photography.

FINALLY declaring a major!”

I thing I did pretty darned good with tackling most of this list. Before hurting my ankle I definitely had been steadily improving myself physically. I did two 5Ks and was more in shape and healthy that I had ever been in my life with all the running and dedication I was putting forth. I have a food doctor appointment coming up so once they tell me what’s wrong and whether I can put stress on it again, I really hope to get back out there. I feel I have improved myself mentally and opened my mind and heart to so many new things. I have made sure to be mindful of those things I didn’t quite understand and to try and my curious rather than judgmental.

My mind has absolutely been opened this past year. I can only hope to read more books and meet new people and genuinely listen and have my mind opened by them.

As far as the making lists and doing the things on them, I have worked on that, but honestly I know I need some more work on that. This past semester involved a ton of prioritizing with all of the constant work I was doing.

Not only did I find that new job but I found two! And I really love where I’m at now.

The keeping myself better updated on current events I was good at for a while bit I know I need to improve on that.

Something to be passionate about. For me, this past year that involved my love of running, hot yoga, taking pictures, and of course the love of my life, James.

Facebooking less… I feel like this one was a success, however I always feel like this one can be improved.

I did get myself involved with a program that makes a difference. I am signed up for ASB where I will provide my time to those in need for a week, and actually before the break is up I intend to find a hospital or nursing home to volunteer at.

As far as the photography thing goes. Ill be honest last semester kind of burnt me out and I just didn’t feel inspired. This next semester should be so much better though, and now that I got a dslr camera for Christmas I cannot wait to see what is in store!! I do want to take a photography class to learn the basics at some point real soon.

Best of all, in my opinion… I DECLARED A MAJOR AND FINALLY KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE!! I finally have a plan and it feels so good! One of the most stressful things is knowing you are running out of time, yet having everyone question your major and life choices when you aren’t even sure yourself. I have to give James a shout out on this one because he listened to me change my mind so much and talk about it so much. He was patient and never complained about my switching my mind, and always comforted me when I got super frustrated about not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. I am so thankful for that.

Speaking of which… another amazing thing that happened this year… An amazing guy walked into my life and made me the happiest I have ever been. He brought me up when I was feeling down, and he came just in time when my world felt like it was crashing down as I felt hopeless watching my grandma suffer and knowing her fate. I wish he could have met her, but I wouldn’t have wanted her to meet him in the state she was in. She was really out of it and not herself at the end. It was so hard to watch. But I am so thankful to have had this wonderful boy by my side to get me through because quite honestly… I was crying multiple times a week when she was at our house and just having to watch her die and lose her mind basically. It is probably the saddest thing I have ever had to watch. Quite honestly I don’t know where I’d be right now without him. He was my sunny sky when things were grey and for that I will always be in his debt. ❤ He showed me what true love was, and proved me so so wrong about the notion that "all guys are the same." He is special, and everything I was searching for and more. I don't say things like this very often but quite honestly he was a blessing. We have been together a little over eight months now, and he still makes me the happiest girl. 🙂

Day 203: Thanks a million!

Oh wow, you guys really are awesome. 🙂 I was looking at my stats today, and FINALLY checking notifications when I realized something. I never ever thought that I would have stats this lovely! I thought at the most, maybe after my blog had reached 365 days that maybe I’d be lucky to see 50 views. As for comments and likes… I don’t even know what to say there except thank you. I started this blog as a personal journey. Something to be able to look back upon and be able to think, “Oh yeah! I remember that now!” A way to grow, and to put some discipline into my life by making myself upload a post a day. Looking back on some of the things I’ve shared, some make me cry all over again, while others just have me grinning ear-to-ear. I am really glad I’ve started this journal, and I can’t wait to be able to say that yes, I, Ariana, finally finished out a 365 day blog. 🙂
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Day 138: Making up for lost time

My sister, Sanaz, and me in our first picture together in about ten years.

 

Today my step sister and I met for lunch to celebrate for my upcoming birthday. I can’t believe I’m almost 20. I also can’t believe we are finally communicating again. It’s really nice to have her back in my life. I think today is probably the first time that things felt a bit less emotional, and a “sister bond” was actually felt in the things we were talking about. Of course, some of the lunch was spent talking of the past – it’s so difficult for it not to – but I think we’re finally moving past the worst. I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday gift than to actually have my sister back. It’s crazy how similar we are in our likes, thought processes, views, and even facial features. I’m just so incredibly thankful that the good things are helping to outweigh the bad right now. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I just have to keep grasping onto these rays of sunshine.

Day 137: Six Flags

Today is the second day in a row that I’ve been to six flags. I sincerely believe that buying a season pass was the way to go. It’s already more than paid or itself by far in two visits. Today I went with Katherine, Shelby, Cody, Shannon, and Sakina. It was so much fun!! I love them all so darned much and wish they didn’t have to go to college so far away. Minus the wasting two hours in lines for rides that ended up malfunctioning, it was a really wonderful day.

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This quote was stated after our argument at Culver’s about whether or not bees have knees. It was basically me versus everyone else stating that bees don’t actually have them, despite our unhealthy fascination with the phrase, “bees knees.” Katherine said something about how if a limb has a joint then it has a knee, and she realized that fingers and arms have joints too, and this is where I stated, “I got 99 problems but a snitch ain’t one!” Why you ask? I have no heavenly clue, but boy was it hilarious at the time!

This picture is probably my all time favorite from today. I just love how all the colors pop. It’s just perfect.

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Day 121: Finding Your Patch of Sunshine in the Grey

This morning on my drive to school, I couldn’t help but notice the dark, grey sky. It was mournful looking and lonesome. I kept looking though. I wasn’t really sure what I was looking for, and then I saw it and just knew. A little patch of sunlight in the dreary sky. After finding the sunlight, I just couldn’t seem to let it go. Finally, once I had found that little patch, it seemed as though the clouds started moving rapidly, transforming that little patch of sunlight into eventually half a sky full. Mind you, not all of the sky suddenly became sunny. Had I been turned in a different direction, perhaps that sunny sky would not have been visible to me. Thats what I think life is about. When things seem dreary and mournful, you just have to keep searching. You must! Keep looking for that little patch of sunshine. Once you find it, whatever or whoever your patch of sunshine may be, don’t let go. Appreciate that patch for all it’s worth. Eventually, that little bit of happiness just may turn into a whole sky full of happiness. Just like the sky this morning, that doesn’t necessarily mean that all grey skies will be gone, but it does mean that eventually you’ll have enough sunshine to help you through and not have to feel overwhelmed anymore. No matter how grey and stressful things may get, you always must have an eye out for that patch of sunshine. It’s out there. I promise. Just don’t stop searching.

Day 120: There is so much about my fate that I cannot control

For tonight I just thought I’d share one of my favorite quotes.

“There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.”

-Elizabeth Gilbert