Day 365: 365 days!! I made it!!!

Today is 365 posts on my blog!! I will admit this past semester burnt me out quite a bit and I started to literally not have much time to write anything of substance before falling asleep. That’s okay though because I did it!!! 365 days of posts and 365 days of honesty and openness about my heart and thoughts on this blog. I am really thankful I took the time to write out how I actually felt and especially with this past tough year. Things got hard but I never gave up. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it a few times… I am just so lucky to have had wonderful friends, family, and my love around me. The hard times are when you need them most, and I am so thankful I did. I think it’s the difficult times where you find out who your friends really are and who will still love you and be there for you even if you are going through such a battle.

At the beginning of last year I stated on this blog that I wanted to work on a few thing. I had goals. These goals were:
“I would like to spend the year…

improving myself- mentally and physically.

opening my mind.

not only making lists, but actually complete the tasks on them.

finding a new job, so that I can start saving.

keeping myself better updated with current events.

finding something to be passionate about.

facebooking less… exponentially less.

getting involved with a program that helps to make a difference such as It Gets Better, a suicide prevention hotline, or possibly a LGBT community program…

learning and practicing more photography.

FINALLY declaring a major!”

I thing I did pretty darned good with tackling most of this list. Before hurting my ankle I definitely had been steadily improving myself physically. I did two 5Ks and was more in shape and healthy that I had ever been in my life with all the running and dedication I was putting forth. I have a food doctor appointment coming up so once they tell me what’s wrong and whether I can put stress on it again, I really hope to get back out there. I feel I have improved myself mentally and opened my mind and heart to so many new things. I have made sure to be mindful of those things I didn’t quite understand and to try and my curious rather than judgmental.

My mind has absolutely been opened this past year. I can only hope to read more books and meet new people and genuinely listen and have my mind opened by them.

As far as the making lists and doing the things on them, I have worked on that, but honestly I know I need some more work on that. This past semester involved a ton of prioritizing with all of the constant work I was doing.

Not only did I find that new job but I found two! And I really love where I’m at now.

The keeping myself better updated on current events I was good at for a while bit I know I need to improve on that.

Something to be passionate about. For me, this past year that involved my love of running, hot yoga, taking pictures, and of course the love of my life, James.

Facebooking less… I feel like this one was a success, however I always feel like this one can be improved.

I did get myself involved with a program that makes a difference. I am signed up for ASB where I will provide my time to those in need for a week, and actually before the break is up I intend to find a hospital or nursing home to volunteer at.

As far as the photography thing goes. Ill be honest last semester kind of burnt me out and I just didn’t feel inspired. This next semester should be so much better though, and now that I got a dslr camera for Christmas I cannot wait to see what is in store!! I do want to take a photography class to learn the basics at some point real soon.

Best of all, in my opinion… I DECLARED A MAJOR AND FINALLY KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE!! I finally have a plan and it feels so good! One of the most stressful things is knowing you are running out of time, yet having everyone question your major and life choices when you aren’t even sure yourself. I have to give James a shout out on this one because he listened to me change my mind so much and talk about it so much. He was patient and never complained about my switching my mind, and always comforted me when I got super frustrated about not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. I am so thankful for that.

Speaking of which… another amazing thing that happened this year… An amazing guy walked into my life and made me the happiest I have ever been. He brought me up when I was feeling down, and he came just in time when my world felt like it was crashing down as I felt hopeless watching my grandma suffer and knowing her fate. I wish he could have met her, but I wouldn’t have wanted her to meet him in the state she was in. She was really out of it and not herself at the end. It was so hard to watch. But I am so thankful to have had this wonderful boy by my side to get me through because quite honestly… I was crying multiple times a week when she was at our house and just having to watch her die and lose her mind basically. It is probably the saddest thing I have ever had to watch. Quite honestly I don’t know where I’d be right now without him. He was my sunny sky when things were grey and for that I will always be in his debt. ❤ He showed me what true love was, and proved me so so wrong about the notion that "all guys are the same." He is special, and everything I was searching for and more. I don't say things like this very often but quite honestly he was a blessing. We have been together a little over eight months now, and he still makes me the happiest girl. 🙂

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Day 235: Teaching really is so fulfilling

I love love love my job. I love getting to teach math all day, and help kiddos learn. I finally understand that rewarding feeling of teaching. There is this one adorable younger boy I have been working with for a few months now. When he first came to us he could hardly add 8 + 2. It took him the longest time to grasp this. I was beginning to wonder if he would ever grasp these basics that we had been trying to get across. Now, he adds them like they’re no big deal, and is so rewarding to watch him fly through addition problems. One of the things he was also just not seeming to grasp was money. It just would not click, and it seemed futile after a while of trying to reword and reteach how to make ten cents with coins. Words cannot express how proud of him I was this week when he finally grasped how to tell how much change to get from a one, five, ten, and 20 dollar bill at the store from buying something at a set amount. I guess maybe it was finally worded correctly, or after seeing it enough times something finally clicked for him, but he actually can give the amount of change back. Without having to use any number blocks or anything!! It’s so fulfilling to watch this student grow. 🙂 I am genuinely just so proud of him. I made him give me a high five! I remember the lost look on his face he used to give me when I would ask him to add two simple single digit numbers. It may not seem like a big deal, but it really really is and I am just so touched to have been a part of the experience of getting him to see that math actually does make sense. 🙂 One of these days, he is going to buy something from a store, and get incorrect change back, march right back in there and demand the correct change back all because I taught him how to count back money.

Day 220: Lovely night

Tonight has been a lovely night. I went to James’ parents house where we played a dominoes game called the Mexican Train and I was a lot of fun! I still can’t believe that I am actually with him, and that he is all mine. It’s the best feeling in the world to be in his arms. Never did I think in a million years that I would be in this position… Yet here I am, with James, deeply in love, and the happiest I’ve ever been. It sure took a while, but life finally came around, and we finally crossed paths at the perfect time. ❤