Day 318: Christmas break is so close…

Never in my life have I felt so defeated by a class. I am putting so much into this class, and yet I still feel just as overwhelmed about it. I am more than ready for this semester to be over and done with. I’m not sure how I’ve even lasted this long. My life is non-existent and I long for the day when I will be free from its grasp. It genuinely is affecting my life in a bad way, and I feel like I have been so pessimistic this semester because of it. I am the kind of person who generally does her best to see the best in things. Who looks at the silver lining, and perhaps, yes, sometimes wears the rose-colored lenses. I can’t do that with this class. I just feel defeated and exhausted and I cannot wait to just get through it already. I am so excited about next semester. Please hurry up and get here.

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I was going through my previous posts and remembered that there was one I titled “Moments” that I meant to go back and talk about. Basically that day I put everything aside and just spent some time with my mom. We listened to the release of a new Taylor Swift song together and just danced in the kitchen. It was nice. I hardly ever get to see her anymore, and I realized that I need to make a more conscious effort to do so here on out. Especially with everything that has happened this year, I have learned that I must appreciate what and who I have because for all we know, tomorrow may never come. While we were dancing in the kitchen, she began to cry, and I just could tell we were thinking the same thing. I have school… yeah… and that’s important, but I don’t want to look back and regret the time wasted that I didn’t spend time with her while I had the chance. Especially since we are still living in the same house because I know one day I will move out, and I am going to have those memories to think back on. <;3 I need to and am going to make a more conscious effort to keep a balance.

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