Day 191: you truly believe you are over someone/something

You know how sometimes you truly believe you are over someone/something and then something catches your eye that reminds you of them – whether it be a photograph, item that relates to a memory you have with them, or merely picking up on a catch of a scent that reminds you of them- and then you are hit all over again as though it were day one after the unfortunate event and you find yourself just as damned as you were on that terrible terrible day? Today was one of those days. I was going through pictures and came across a video of my grandmother dancing with my aunt that I didn’t even know I had from less than a year ago with the biggest smile on her face, and I broke down. Not even a year ago she was up and dancing and happy as a clam. I hate cancer so much. I’m not sure what I expected to happen. Obviously I wouldn’t just forget about her and never have to deal with any emotions regarding her ever again, but I didn’t think it would keep hitting this hard. :/ It has been a little over a month now. It still hurts to think about. Blahhhh

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